While everyone has a different story, there are many women who have struggled with their abortion decision. Carol’s story is one of hope and healing after many years of feeling shame and guilt. Her story is told here to offer a path forward for those who, like Carol, have experienced overwhelming feelings of regret after abortion. For others, perhaps it will resonate and offer perspective for future pregnancy decisions. 

Carol’s Story:

My abortion story starts out like so many young girls. I was 14. I did not know much about sex. I had never had any reason to contemplate what would happen if I got pregnant. 

My parents were divorced and I was spending time at my dad’s house for the summer. I met a boy who was 16 and spent endless hours hanging out with him. We ended up having sex, which was my first time, and then I never saw him again. After a few months, I suspected I could be pregnant. 

My periods were not regular, so at first, I didn’t think much about the real possibility of pregnancy. I tried to subdue my suspicion. I did not want to go there in my thoughts, because I had no idea what I would do. But, I soon discovered it was real and was then determined to hide it as long as I could. I already knew in my heart that my parents would not let me keep the baby.

Once my mother found out about my pregnancy, I was told I would be getting an abortion. She said she didn’t have the finances to help with a baby. I felt I had no choice, as the decision was made for me. After the abortion, I convinced myself to just move on.

Years later, I realized what had actually happened to me physically that day in the hospital, and I started to uncover the long-term emotional effects that seemed to now be a part of daily life. At 14, I had gone through a forced saline birth abortion, which caused me to undergo labor to deliver my baby. As a result, I was left weak and without a baby. And as years went by, I carried the shame and guilt of what happened in that hospital.

If only I had known what I know now. 

 I wish I had known as a 14-year-old that no one could legally force me to have an abortion. At the time, I was underage and assumed that my parents had the final say in the matter. However, they were not the ones who had to go through the abortion and live with its adverse consequences. This is unfortunate and all too common. Now I know that it is illegal for a parent, friend, boyfriend, or anyone else to coerce an abortion.

I wish I had recognized, in those subsequent years, that I needed tools to cope rather than attempting to “just move on”. I realize now that, for me, abortion was a traumatic experience. And, like so many others, I had stuffed it deep down.

But, my story is one of hope and healing!

After years of carrying around the shame and guilt of my abortion, I was introduced to Insight Women’s Center. I participated in their post-abortive program that brought emotional healing, releasing the shame and guilt I had lived with for so long. I can’t change my past, but I can be a voice for those who have no voice and try to make a difference in someone else’s life. I want to encourage others who might find themselves in a similar situation: you are strong and capable of having a baby while still fulfilling your dreams! Since volunteering at Insight, I’ve witnessed so many women rise above incredibly challenging circumstances, empowered to make a life-giving decision.

Society often sends the message to women that abortion is the logical choice. For me, and many others, abortion is life-changing. One case study reports 83% of women said they were changed by their abortions, with 77% saying the change was negative. Another 38% reported problems with anxiety, depression, drug abuse, and/or suicidal thoughts as a result of their abortion. One meta-analysis, a large and quantitative estimate summarizing mental health risks, reports an 81% increased risk of mental health problems after abortion compared to term pregnancy. If this is you, please know that you are not alone. In addition to mental health problems, other long-term complications that may surface several years after abortion include subsequent pre-term birth and placenta previa.

Insight Women’s Center is an excellent resource for emotional, spiritual, and tangible support. They provide information about all pregnancy options and prioritize a caring, non-judgmental atmosphere. For those who choose to carry their baby, they provide education throughout pregnancy and ways to get tangible items. Insight does not provide or refer for abortion, but they offer programs to help women who seek emotional support after an abortion decision. They are also able to connect clients with local resources and programs for additional help.